I remember every delicately worded critiques by you. Written so eloquently, with a thin sheet of love, while simultaneously ripping someone’s very essence from their own body. You know how to tear down a human being in such a worded mix of classy and cruel; masking how you are from all those too blind to see the true you.

I remember hardly any recognition for any of my achievements, only complaints of what I need to do next. What the next steps are. There are never breaks with you, never a time to sit and breathe in the victories. My victories. Why have my victories meant so little to you. Why do I yearn so much for a person who I cannot please?

One pill for attention. One pill for calmness. One pill for sleep. You put me on medication before I even really understood what exactly those pills were for. Therapist appointment after therapist appointment, determined to figure out what was “clearly wrong” with the child you chose to open your home to. You were supposed to open up your heart to me Mom, not just your wallet.

To be continued….